Parenthood, I've learned, is about finding that balance between being the abject leader and obsequious follower. It is something that I don't have mastered even now, and honestly, I don't think it's something I'll ever master. I plague myself over small mistakes of being too much of the abject leader and not enough of the obsequious follower. My inner child needs coaxing, and because I often don't feed her, the tyrant adult takes way too much control for me.
Part of that may have been my own upbringing. As an adult, I find that I crave structure and consistency to an almost unhealthy level. Due to this, I find myself controlling way too much of my daughter's life and berating where I should be praising. Now more conscious of it, I hope to move forward by feeding more of my inner child and drawing out the creativity and natural leadership skills my daughter has already shown. Honestly, I feel bad because I know that kid number two is going to have more of that balance by the time it comes along, and if my daughter really is as much like me as she seems, she's going to be pretty jealous about that fact.
Obsequious | əb-ˈsē-kwē-əs: adjective: marked by or exhibiting a fawning attentiveness
As I had thought about the transition of obsequious into my daily life, I was reading on the etymology of the word and learned that almost always does it describe a follower of some sort. Its Latin root, sequi, means to follow, which is how you can remember who to describe as obsequious.
The word, itself, came around in Middle English, originally meaning compliant, which is closer to the Latin word that it originated from, obsequiosus. Breaking it down further, back into the root words, sequi - to follow - and ob - toward, we can find even more derivatives, such as consequence and sequel. I love seeing words line up like that!
Obsequious | əbˈsiː.kwi.əs: adjective: too eager to praise or obey someone
I find the use of the word in my example to be both ironic and delightful, as it is used by a character who is very good at portraying himself as a follower, yet he is anything but that. This character follows his own needs and desires, and it is only due to those that he plays the part that he does - as well as he does. Even during the show, Game of Thrones, we never really see Varys as a true follower. Of course, he isn't much of a leader, either.
Varys, I find, is a beautiful representation of a true neutral character. In his beliefs, he is doing all he can to serve the realm and create an era of peace. And in every way, he does whatever he thinks is necessary to bring forth that era. That's not to say that he is without error. But he is a wonderful example of a person who is neither leader nor follower, but simply a man of his own right.
"...The King's Justice must be fearsome, the master of coin must be frugal, the Lord Commander of the Kingsguard must be valiant...and the master of whisperers must be sly and obsequious and without scruple..."
I feel as though there are no other words that can describe exactly as obsequious does, though there are numerous synonyms that come close. Would you prefer a different word? What kinds of words would you use in the place of obsequious? What other words would you like to see on this list? Let me know all that and more, and until tomorrow, happy reading!
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